Another episode of funny headlines
PROTECTED CONTENT
If you’re a current subscriber, log in below. If you would like to subscribe, please click the subscribe tab above.
Username and Password Help
Please enter your email and we will send you a password reset link.
Jamie Gardner
I just can’t help myself sometimes. Newspaper headline writers have way too much time on their hands, or in some cases, maybe not enough time. They are hilarious.
– Safety meeting ends in accident
– Federal agents raid gun shop, find weapons
– Woman falls in hospital, told to call an ambulance
– Attorney accidentally sues himself
– Hospitals resort to hiring doctors
– Woman missing since she got lost
– Threat disrupts plans to meet about threats
– Most earthquake damage is caused by shaking
– “We hate math,” says 4 in 10 – a majority of Americans (read it again)
– Planes forced to land at airports
– Marijuana issue sent to joint committee
– Midget sues grocer, cites belittling remarks
– Worker suffers leg pain after crane drops 800-pound ball on his head
– Fish need water, Feds say
– Dead man found in graveyard
– Cows lose their jobs as milk prices drop
– Man arrested for everything
– State population to double by 2040, babies to blame
– Man arrested after cops spot suspiciously small package in his undies
– Man accused of killing lawyer receives a new attorney
– Survey says Americans getting tired of surveys
– Poverty meeting attracts poor turnout
– World Bank says poor need more money
– Psychics predict world didn’t end yesterday
– Homicide victims rarely talk to police
– Dieting leads to weight loss
– Mayor Parris to homeless… Go home
– Troutt named to salmon board
– Rooms with broken air conditioners are hot
– Stabbing disrupts class for anger management
– City plans first dog park, archery range
– Breathing oxygen linked to staying alive (I kid you not, actual headline)
– Weight Watchers demonstrator shoplifts cupcakes
– East Tennessee aglow over growth in nuclear jobs
– Farmers baaa-ffled after hundreds of sheep branded with smiley faces
– Statistics show teen pregnancy drops off significantly after 25
– And finally…City unsure why the sewer smells. (I’ve got a pretty good idea why it smells).
There you have it folks. Another episode of funny headlines is in the books. I hope you enjoyed them as much as I did.
