Almost invisible

Billy Howard

According to the scripture I study, after He had finished the process of creating man, the heavens, earth, and celestial bodies, the Lord looked upon man and realized he was in need of a helpmate. Understanding that “…it is not good for man to be alone,” He put Adam to sleep and performed an operation to remove a rib which was then used to make a suitable help mate and presented her to Adam; thus was the first marriage.
Whereas it concerns the intricate dynamics of any significant relationship, there are the naturally occurring challenges two people sharing the same physical, emotional, and psychological spaces will, invariably, have to address. Anyone who has been together for more than a week and not had obstacles to overcome is either living a delusional existence or still in an alcohol-induced coma from their honeymoon. Whatever the case, couples who have endured decades of matrimonial bliss will confirm that the era of “Bliss” comes only as a byproduct of compassion, compromise, and concession.
My late father used to say, “Teeth and tongue occupy the same mouth, and even they fall out every now and then.” It is an unspoken truth that two people with different mindsets, different likes, and dislikes entering into a covenantal relationship ‘til death do you part, will naturally have occasions when they don’t see eye to eye. There may be situations when one or the other of the two parties feels as though they have taken more than life should ever require, but the truth found in real love expresses a willingness to remain “…for better or for worse.”
Scripture outlines that a husband is assigned as the proverbial priest of the household and it is his responsibility to provide, protect, and shepherd the family; that he is head of his house as Jesus is head of the church. As such, in the quest to care for the home, there are often circumstances that will harness thoughts and emotions otherwise directed to benefit his helpmate. This might result with his wife sometimes feeling as though he doesn’t “see” her when nothing could be further from the truth. Often, a husband/father can become so engrossed in addressing and maintaining requirements of the home that he might seem to almost overlook his life partner, causing her to feel invisible.
To the point of how most relationships work, when a man proposes to live out the expectations of what is deemed a “good husband,” it can sometimes seem overwhelming. In those cases, not for the desire to do so, distractions of life may appear to “pull” his attention away as he can become pre-occupied with attempts to navigate a proper path for the household. It certainly wouldn’t be that he has lost interest or the attraction to his wife waned, but just that life occasionally gets in the way.
So the weightier issue, in the humble opinion of this columnist, is that most men harbor a natural desire to be a verifiable husband and provider. As such, a mature individual develops a sincere urge to share his “space” with a wife, and possibly family but, it’s important to realize there are honestly times when she may feel “invisible.” I could be wrong but it’s just something to consider.
You can reach Howard at bg@authorbghoward.com.