Jamie and shopping don’t mix
PROTECTED CONTENT
If you’re a current subscriber, log in below. If you would like to subscribe, please click the subscribe tab above.
Username and Password Help
Please enter your email and we will send you a password reset link.
Jamie Gardner
Each year, I put on my big boy shorts, suck it up, and go shopping with my wife, Amy, for our children. It is one day out of the year that brings such joy, fun, and excitement… for Amy! (Not really, probably, because she must listen to me complain.) When asked what her favorite hobby is, I’m confident that she’d tell you shopping is up near the top.
One of my favorite things to do while shopping with Amy is hold her hand and walk by store clerks whispering, “Help me,” or “Help me please,” in a tone like I’ve been kidnapped. The response is fun to watch. Some look at me like I’m crazy, others laugh or smile.
When the boys were younger, they would go with us shopping. My oldest son, Cole, and I would make the youngest son, Jacob, stand in the windows at stores like a mannequin to get reactions from people passing by. Jacob liked to wear a lot of Under Armour apparel when he was younger. At the Under Armour store, he would be dressed like the mannequins, which was perfect. It was hilarious watching people walk by and finally figure out he was a real boy standing in the window. I think a few gals came close to having a cardiac event when they noticed he was real, and then they’d bust out laughing. Amy would catch us, and the fun would end, and I’d usually get a tongue lashing for using her children for my entertainment. I tried to explain that others enjoyed it as well. There were times we’d get an audience of people watching just to see what the reaction from others would be, and some would even video.
Now that the boys are older, I am very thankful for the invention of the smartphone for the annual shopping adventure. Saturday, I was able to keep myself entertained by watching videos, listening to music, or even watching the Georgia game when it finally got underway. (One side note… Go Dawgs!)
My wife and I have totally opposed views on shopping. When I go shopping, I am very focused. I know exactly what I am going for, and I get it done. Amy likes to shop. She will pick up an item, and I’ll encourage her to buy it. She will put it down, go to three other stores and look at a similar item, and then return to the original store and buy the item I told her to buy in the first place. I guess she’s looking for the best product and price. Can’t fault her for that. I would not have gone to three other stores.
Despite my feelings about shopping, Amy and I are so busy with our businesses lately, that it was actually a much-needed break to get away for our little adventure Saturday. Maybe next year I can talk her into going to a duck hole somewhere instead of shopping. I’ll even let her shop for a new pair of waders for the adventure. I’m sure she would like that about as much as I like shopping.
I can’t wait until next year’s shopping trip (sarcasm). Happy shopping, guys! Try the “help me” bit. It really is funny.
