Recently I was reading a story of a pastor’s wife who was tragically killed by a disgruntled worm of a man.
He went into a rage when he discovered the wife he was battering was being sheltered in the home of the pastor and his family. He also shot the pastor twice in front of their two children and his own wife and child. The pastor survived his physical wounds yet became a shell of a man and died in a mental facility. The immediate thought: where was God when this happened came to my mind? Where were his armor bearers of strong, spiritual men to protect him and his wife? Why did his children have to live with this memory forever locked in their cognitive thought processes? Back to God, why didn’t He at least send the angel Michael to fight for them? Why didn’t He warn them in a dream, a vision, or a voice out of heaven? For crying out loud, they were obediently serving as pastors and for that matter opening up their home to the abused. Why did He sit silently by and let this happen?
Across the vast expanses of this world for centuries past, and also in our present day, these questions are asked and so often are seemingly left unanswered. People in pain scream out, “Where was your God when I needed Him most?” “Why didn’t He answer me when I cried out?” “Did He just choose to let my loved one die?” “My baby was innocent and God turned His back when leukemia stole her life.” “Where was He when I lost my job, my house, and my way of life?” There are multitudes of real-life scenarios to be examined, each seemingly to have gone unnoticed by the Almighty. It is NOT a sin to have these thoughts, especially while we are in the midst of the raging storms they bring. It is NOT a sin to cry out to God for relief with anger erupting from within your very soul. After the tears, after the break down, after the collapse into a cocoon, the anger is often the tool our defense mechanism process uses to bring us back to reality. It is all about timing to get someone to understand God loves us before, during, and after the storm. For me personally, it is the before I struggle with.
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