The other day I was getting the news at a local watering hole when a nice looking young lady came in. She got the items she needed and left. I said goodbye to my buddies and followed her out. As she was putting her small son into a car seat, I passed behind her and something caught my eye. It was another tattoo moment. She had one on her backside that became visible when she bent over the child’s car seat. In the center of her spine was a beautiful fleur-de-lis inside an arrow, which pointed down. Underneath, it said “Legend”.
This got my attention. I was frozen in place as was my indignant stare. The young lady rose up, turned and looked at me. As our gaze met and she saw my disapproving look, she giggled and said, “Did you see my tat, Mister?”
“Yes Ma’am,” I said, somewhat too emphatically. “I couldn’t help myself. Are you Legend or are you a Legend?” I sniffed, somewhat self- righteously. She informed me it was pronounced ‘Le Johnd’ and that it was her boyfriend’s name.
As I finished my chores around town my mind kept wandering back to the tattooed lady. I had to ask myself, “What if ‘Le Johnd’ dumps her and she has to find someone else? What self respecting man would want to slow dance with a lady who has another man’s name tattooed on her backside? Not Ray, maybe, but he’s already got a woman.”
I have to be honest. If it was today or forty years ago and that man was me, I would find that ‘Le Johnd’ presented complications even though he wasn’t there in the flesh. I’m funny that way, though I can’t speak for any one else.
And what is it with some of the heavier ladies around here. Every where I go there are these heavy young women with tattoos around their ankles and, if you are unlucky enough to get a look higher up, there are usually some on their thigh, not to mention their eyelids, arms, elbows, forehead, nose, lips and tongue.
FYI; if you are two or three hundred pounds heavier than you ought to be, they ain’t no amount of tattooing or body piercings going to make you look good or be more desirable except to someone just like you.
I am telling you people now; the next billionaire will be the one who comes out with the Do It Yourself Home Tattoo Removal Kit. I’ll bet Cecil Holt is working on one as we speak, and if not, I wish he would.
I can see it now. “Get rid of those unsightly prison tattoos before you go on that job interview at Goldman Sachs”.
On second thought, if you are going on a job interview at Goldman Sachs, leave the prison tattoos on. It will make those thieves at Goldman’s feel right at home. I am sure Mr. Holt would agree.