Ken Vickers
Blind and barefoot
Just to show how easy one can get into trouble, I have decided to tell of an experience I had with pornography. I know, I know, the Good Book says a Wise man will conceal a matter but a fool tells all. Well, here goes.
I like leather shoes and used to wear a very heavy American made shoe but when I went by Norris Shoes to get a new pair, they told me the company had gone out of business. It was a few days later that I was reading a sports magazine called Red Head and saw a pair of shoes that looked like the ones I wanted. I called the toll free number and ordered them and, when they arrived a few days later, they were just right.
It was quite some time later that I noticed they were wearing thin and I decided to order some new ones. We had a computer at home by then and I was just getting proficient in its use. I was amazed that one could find anything on it. I mean anything. When we had first gotten the contraption hooked up, my wife asked me to name anything that came to mind and we would look it up on what is called a search engine. I came up with a question that I knew this machine could not answer. I said, “Ask it to find how to make a whiskey barrel.” The question was no sooner typed in when 3,000 answers came back. This sold me on computers.
I tried and tried to think of the name of the company the shoes came from but could not. I was at home alone when it came to me that the magazine was called Redhead. Naturally, being a brand new computer nerd, I sat down and typed in www.redhead.com but I am here to tell you the lady that appeared on my screen wasn’t wearing any shoes, or at least I don’t think she was. I really don’t remember looking at her feet.
I felt dirty, as in needing a bath. I x’ed the thing out but then all kinds of little gizmo’s started popping up all over my screen with more dirty pictures on them. I yelled, “No, no. Stop.”, but it did no good. I went so far in my shame as to call the number on the screen and try to explain to the lady who answered that all I wanted was a pair of shoes. She explained they did not sell shoes but had a few other things I might be interested in that could be worn on the body.
I told her no thanks as politely as I could and just sat there. All I could think of was the time my third grade Sunday School teacher, Miss Elan Dorminey, tried to explain to us young’uns about this kind of stuff and that if we ever looked at it, the Lord might strike us blind.
It is hard to operate a computer with your eyes closed so I was trying with all my might to use just one eye in order I might at least keep the sight in the other, just in case Miss Elan’s warning came true.
I finally called my wife at work and told her my dilemma. I wanted to be sure she heard about it from me and did not find out by accident I had called up a pornography site and think I was a pervert. She laughed and told me to turn it off and she would look at it when she got home and try to straighten it out.
Later that night I remembered the name of the magazine was Bass Pro Shop Redhead Magazine but there was no way I was going there again. I went to Belk Hudson’s and bought a nice pair of tennis shoes instead.
You know, back in my younger days it seems there were lots of things we were warned of that would strike you blind. It is a wonder I can see at all.
It was quite some time later that I noticed they were wearing thin and I decided to order some new ones. We had a computer at home by then and I was just getting proficient in its use. I was amazed that one could find anything on it. I mean anything. When we had first gotten the contraption hooked up, my wife asked me to name anything that came to mind and we would look it up on what is called a search engine. I came up with a question that I knew this machine could not answer. I said, “Ask it to find how to make a whiskey barrel.” The question was no sooner typed in when 3,000 answers came back. This sold me on computers.
I tried and tried to think of the name of the company the shoes came from but could not. I was at home alone when it came to me that the magazine was called Redhead. Naturally, being a brand new computer nerd, I sat down and typed in www.redhead.com but I am here to tell you the lady that appeared on my screen wasn’t wearing any shoes, or at least I don’t think she was. I really don’t remember looking at her feet.
I felt dirty, as in needing a bath. I x’ed the thing out but then all kinds of little gizmo’s started popping up all over my screen with more dirty pictures on them. I yelled, “No, no. Stop.”, but it did no good. I went so far in my shame as to call the number on the screen and try to explain to the lady who answered that all I wanted was a pair of shoes. She explained they did not sell shoes but had a few other things I might be interested in that could be worn on the body.
I told her no thanks as politely as I could and just sat there. All I could think of was the time my third grade Sunday School teacher, Miss Elan Dorminey, tried to explain to us young’uns about this kind of stuff and that if we ever looked at it, the Lord might strike us blind.
It is hard to operate a computer with your eyes closed so I was trying with all my might to use just one eye in order I might at least keep the sight in the other, just in case Miss Elan’s warning came true.
I finally called my wife at work and told her my dilemma. I wanted to be sure she heard about it from me and did not find out by accident I had called up a pornography site and think I was a pervert. She laughed and told me to turn it off and she would look at it when she got home and try to straighten it out.
Later that night I remembered the name of the magazine was Bass Pro Shop Redhead Magazine but there was no way I was going there again. I went to Belk Hudson’s and bought a nice pair of tennis shoes instead.
You know, back in my younger days it seems there were lots of things we were warned of that would strike you blind. It is a wonder I can see at all.
Trackbacks
Trackback specific URI for this entry
No Trackbacks