Ken Vickers
No free lunch
It was back to the catfish pond for Fox and me. We were having a battle trying to keep the ducks from eating the peanut flavored fish food but the two of us were not going to give up. I assured my neighbor I would kill as many ducks as necessary to ensure his catfish make it through this drought we are in.
I know some of you may be offended by our actions but I assure you, our motives are purely humanitarian. If you could only have seen the pictures my neighbor showed me of the starving catfish infants, their emaciated bodies covered with flies, you would not be so hasty in being judgmental. You would have grabbed a shotgun and joined in.
Before any of you call and volunteer your assistance, let me tell you, this is dangerous work. Just ask Fox, the Wonder Lab, who lost an eye 3 weeks ago when an Al-Qaida Woodie sneaked in before daylight and landed on the water. Fox disobeyed orders and immediately went in after him and, in the confusion, was wounded. Lord, it was awful, but I am happy to report Fox is back to full speed and, though one eyed, completely healed thanks to the expert emergency care of Dr. Wills, DVM.
Fox told me this morning that it was time for retribution and asked if the neighbor was still delivering care packages of peanuts to the starving catfish. I assured him he was but thought that it may be best if we start off a bit slow and work our way back up to the hardcore battle between us and the ducks. I suggested we start with some pesky doves that have put in to eat the blackbird food the good neighbor recently scattered out on his pasture. Fox agreed, and so we are preparing and will soon be off and once again doing what we do best and enjoy most; helping others who are downtrodden and put upon by any brazen feathered invader who would dare take the food from a babe’s mouth.
I tell you there’s no better feeling I know than to help others in need, and this afternoon Fox and I are going to do our best to be good Samaritans to our neighbor and to these poor, starving blackbirds and kill every dove that dares attempt to take a nut from these helpless ones.
I guess the ducks, geese, and dove have been watching too much TV and have become infected with this entitlement mentality and now feel as if someone owes them a living whether they do anything to earn it or not. I am almost tempted to break the law and bait up a place just to teach them a lesson and that being; there’s no free lunch!
Now if we could just bait up these politicians somehow. It would probably be as easy as baiting up the tort lawyers. I heard of that being done one year during a symposium attended by tort attorneys. It seems that someone ran up to the podium and yelled out that a Wal-Mart truck had just splattered a Headstart bus out front of the convention center where the symposium was being held. Sadly, it was reported that four tort lawyers were trampled to death, and several others so badly injured in the stampede to get out the door and to the wreck site, that they could not attend the symposium. The rest of them made it out the door, however, and is said that it was really no challenge to bag one.
On a serious note; Folks, we had all better be praying for rain and I mean get serious about it! We need lots of it- buckets, torrents, rivers of water. If it doesn’t start soon, I promise you that when sap rising time comes and warm
weather, our minds will be on something more serious than Mitt Romney’s hairdo or Newt’s past indiscretions.
Before any of you call and volunteer your assistance, let me tell you, this is dangerous work. Just ask Fox, the Wonder Lab, who lost an eye 3 weeks ago when an Al-Qaida Woodie sneaked in before daylight and landed on the water. Fox disobeyed orders and immediately went in after him and, in the confusion, was wounded. Lord, it was awful, but I am happy to report Fox is back to full speed and, though one eyed, completely healed thanks to the expert emergency care of Dr. Wills, DVM.
Fox told me this morning that it was time for retribution and asked if the neighbor was still delivering care packages of peanuts to the starving catfish. I assured him he was but thought that it may be best if we start off a bit slow and work our way back up to the hardcore battle between us and the ducks. I suggested we start with some pesky doves that have put in to eat the blackbird food the good neighbor recently scattered out on his pasture. Fox agreed, and so we are preparing and will soon be off and once again doing what we do best and enjoy most; helping others who are downtrodden and put upon by any brazen feathered invader who would dare take the food from a babe’s mouth.
I tell you there’s no better feeling I know than to help others in need, and this afternoon Fox and I are going to do our best to be good Samaritans to our neighbor and to these poor, starving blackbirds and kill every dove that dares attempt to take a nut from these helpless ones.
I guess the ducks, geese, and dove have been watching too much TV and have become infected with this entitlement mentality and now feel as if someone owes them a living whether they do anything to earn it or not. I am almost tempted to break the law and bait up a place just to teach them a lesson and that being; there’s no free lunch!
Now if we could just bait up these politicians somehow. It would probably be as easy as baiting up the tort lawyers. I heard of that being done one year during a symposium attended by tort attorneys. It seems that someone ran up to the podium and yelled out that a Wal-Mart truck had just splattered a Headstart bus out front of the convention center where the symposium was being held. Sadly, it was reported that four tort lawyers were trampled to death, and several others so badly injured in the stampede to get out the door and to the wreck site, that they could not attend the symposium. The rest of them made it out the door, however, and is said that it was really no challenge to bag one.
On a serious note; Folks, we had all better be praying for rain and I mean get serious about it! We need lots of it- buckets, torrents, rivers of water. If it doesn’t start soon, I promise you that when sap rising time comes and warm
weather, our minds will be on something more serious than Mitt Romney’s hairdo or Newt’s past indiscretions.
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