Valentine’s Day in retrospect

“Did you know, Mrs. Ellis, that next to Christmas, more money is spent on Valentine gifts than any other holiday in the spectrum? Roses, boxes of luscious chocolate candy, fuzzy teddy bears, and jewelry are the most common gifts,” one researcher tells me.

“What a mercenary holiday! It’s ridiculous,” a young lady declares, frowning. “I hate Valentine’s Day.”

“I kind of like it,” another student replies. “I love the smell of roses.”

“I like chocolate,” another says. “Everybody likes chocolate. I don’t care if it’s on Valentine’s Day or not.”

Allow me to share some of our efforts and outlooks with you. The first two poems were written by students and the last one is mine.

I like polo hats with pearls and sunglasses and suntan lotion,

Preferably in the summertime.

I like yellow polka dot bikinis and beach bags and the smell of crab legs.

I like pistachios and original twizzlers in the individual packets.

I like raw cookie dough, preferably chocolate chip.

I like grape chicken salad between toasted croissants.

I like rainy days and winter nights when I’m snuggled up

On the couch, watching a Lifetime movie.

I really like long rides in the convertible bug

And vacations with my family

And mushrooms in my salad,

Oh, and boiled peanuts from the produce stand.

I like ESPN Sportsnation and homemade lemon bars with

A touch of powdered sugar.

If I could choose, I would pick vacations in Italy or France

Or Puerto Rico, but any foreign place would be just dandy

And mostly I like the thrill of Saturdays in Athens,

Cheering on the dawgs with 92,746 of my closest friends.

And maybe I forgot to mention this but . . . . I really like you!

-Rawlins Johnson

I love my lady named Gertrude.

She likes me to call her Gert.

She loves to wink her eye at me and she loves when I flirt.

One time when we were walking and holding hands

I gave her a doughnut wedding band.

The ring is not there anymore.

All that is left are the crumbs on the floor.

I love every single part of her,

All the way down to her brown eyes and back fur.

She’s a shadow in the summer and keeps me warm in the cold.

Her slobbery kisses and goodbye wishes never get old.

When I wake up and find myself next to Gert,

I look at her and my eyes water and hurt.

My eyes don’t water because our love is so swell,

But because of her morning breath’s smell.

When we go out in public, I put a bag over her head.

Too bad there’s no way to hide her body

Because she’s been overfed.

I never get on her bad side because it just isn’t fair

That I’d have to take a train and a bus just to get there.

-Hunter Leggett

Russell Stovers’ and Whitman’s are dark and lovely,

But Valentine chocolate adds pounds to my hips,

And whether deep blood red or dainty pink,

Roses just die and let dry petals drip.

Just plant me a rose bush out in the yard.

Give it Miracle Grow and some water.

If you must spend money, just buy me a card.

Walmart has some for just a dollar.

I already have enough proof of your love

When you wash dishes or do the laundry,

And handing over the TV remote

Speaks of love even more strongly.

So let the young have Valentine’s Day.

They know so little of real love.

They’ll learn as the years pass away

If they can manage to stay together.

-Mary Ann Ellis

Whatever your opinion of this February holiday, we hope your day was loverly.