Growing up down on the farm in Toombs County we farm boys missed out on some of the finer points of the trendy social scene, among them, fancy dancing. We pursued more macho activities like hunting and fishing and wild cars.
However, across the years, I have been exposed to all kinds of dancing including square dancing, line dancing, waltzing, and clogging. Seleta Rogers, my music director in Warwick tried to get B. J. and me involved in clogging. She showed us the basic steps in slow motion. She did get us to clog one night for a minute or two. She had a blue ribbon clogging group called the Dixieland Cloggers that won many prizes.
A popular dance of cuddly swinging couples on St. Simons is “shagging”. I don’t know much about shagging but they say that it is something like jitterbugging. My sister Flo used to jitterbug I think. I know that I remember hearing her talk about it when I was growing up.
Well, B. J. and I have not been exposed to the fancy footwork and wild swinging of shagging on a dance floor but I do shag—with wild horses.
My first shagging partner was Ole Red. Ole Red was a fire engine red Mustang convertible that loved to let his hair down and shag in the breeze. He had some fancy footwork too. He danced around gleefully as his mane streamed in the wind.
We shagged through the Shenandoah Valley, around Gettysburg, Washington, D. C., all the way through the wild interstate dancers in Houston, Texas, over the Rocky Mountains and across the Great Plains. It was fun to shag with Ole Red.
Then came Little Blue. Little Blue is a muscle car that does the fancy footwork a little faster than Ole Red. She can get off to fast starts and really show her shagging stuff if you pamper her a little. She can go from zero to sixty in five seconds now that is fast shagging. She loves it. We have shagged with Little Blue to Florida and along Daytona Beach. Little Blue loves to shag to music. We have shagged through Music City, USA and along the Branson Strip at night; that, coupled with her state-of-the-art Sirius radio, provides a beat that gets her to sashaying to all the right swinging moves.
Nevertheless, the champion shagger on my dance floor is the latest edition to our corral—Big Red. Big Red is the top of the line in shagging Mustangs. The only shagger that may out-shag Big Red is the supercharged customized Shelby 500 (I am still working on B. J. about this).
Big Red, too, is a shagging convertible. In the long haul, he edges out Little Blue. He can shag from zero to sixty in three-and-a—half seconds—now that is sho nuff shagging.
Although Big Red has done no long, cross-country shagging like Ole Red and Little Blue, he has done a lot of shagging closer by in Georgia, Florida and South Carolina.
Big Red is especially fond of shagging on interstate highways and in the mountains. Other shaggers that particularly annoy him are Corvettes and Dodge Chargers. When one of these snuggles up for a hug and a swing, I have to do some fancy reining and footwork to keep him in check.
The Atlanta Bypass is Big Red’s favorite shagging place. He gets very antsy when we merge onto the Bypass from 675. There are five million people in the Atlanta Metro Area and when they hear that we are coming, I think they all get on the Bypass. Sometimes, driving 80mph in the slow lane is necessary to keep from being trampled by the herds that are chasing you.
However, Big Red heads for the center lane. He likes it there. That way he can do fancy footwork and swing and shag with all those around him. Shagging at 80mph with four 18-wheelers at a time is a chilling thrill.
Shagging through the Blue Ridge Mountains gives Big Red a big twist. He shags around the curves and up and down the mountain roads wildly. He has fallen in love with the mountains.
Nonetheless, Big Red is ambitious. He is green with envy because Ole Red and Little Blue have shagged farther and wider than he has. He wants some long distance shagging like to the Rocky Mountains. He feels that with his state-of-the-art automatic transmission, he can shag better in the Rockies than Ole Red.