I never knew my wife to read the local paper so I did not fear being honest in relating the story about the Clunker Deal. One of the local bigmouth biddies told my wife she needed to read that particular edition, however, and she did.
Lord, Have Mercy Jesus, did I ever catch it. The good thing about it is I could turn off the air conditioner because the bedroom became so cold the other end of the house was frigid, also.
I Suwannee to Pete, a man just can’t win when it comes to women. I mean a man just can’t be truthful and win and, truth be known, he can’t lie and win either. He just can’t win, period. It is this perpetual state of being in the dog house that makes life interesting for a man. On the mountaintop one minute and master of all he sees and at the bottom of the ocean the next and struggling to catch a breath and beat the sharks away. The Good Lord made a curious thing when he made the institution of marriage because a man spends the rest of his life after saying “I Do” trying to figure out what he did and why he did it.
Never one to like wading through a snow bank after I open my front door, I had to figure a way out of my conundrum.
Recently made unemployed after 23 years of being on duty 24-7 on my poultry farm and the real estate auction market being generally as cold as my bedroom, I found myself being very careful of unnecessary expenses. I was leaving Wally World when I saw the prettiest flowers and thought “that ought to make a small difference with the little woman,” but after seeing the price, I declined the purchase. On the way home I passed a pine thicket and saw a half acre of the most beautiful wild day lilies, my wife’s favorite, and I stopped and cut a big bouquet. I fixed them up and placed them in a vase, placed them in a conspicuous place, and when my wife saw them they broke the ice; no pun intended.
She asked where I got them and I was about to tell the truth when something whispered in my ear, “Don’t tell her they were free.”
I said, “I was leaving Wally World when I saw an old man in a wheelchair and his young grandson selling them out of the back of their car. I did not need to spend the money but the people looked as though they could use help and I knew the flowers would please you so I bought them because I knew they were your favorite.”
It was like turning on a heat lamp; the temperature began to rise in our home and I had to turn on the air conditioner. Oh, Happy Day!
Pyne Tarr Proverbs, Chapter 4, vs. 2; A lie is a poor substitute for the truth, but it is the only one yet discovered.