The U.S. Senate race this November between Democrat Michelle Nunn and Republican David Perdue will be one of the more unusual campaigns we have witnessed in Georgia. Neither has held public office and both are anxious to portray themselves as the ultimate “outsider.”
But just how outside is outside?
That was a task I assigned my esteemed associate, Figby. I asked him to pose that question to both candidates. Figby is good at this kind of thing and is used to tough assignments.
He once got Southern Baptists together with the American Civil Liberties Union. Thanks to his efforts, the Baptists agreed they had misinterpreted the Bible and would hire only women preachers in the future. The ACLU agreed to tattoo a copy of the Ten Commandments on every member’s forehead. At the end of the day, everybody was hugging and crying. I was very proud of Figby.
Rap! Rap! Rap!
Figby: “OK, folks, let’s get started. Where is Ms. Nunn?”
Nunn: (Hollers) “I am out here!”
Figby: “Ms. Nunn, I can’t see you.”
Nunn: “That’s because I am outside, you dipstick. If I come inside, I won’t be outside. Is that so hard to figure?”
Figby: “Hmm. Interesting point, Ms. Nunn. Mr. Perdue, where are you?”
Perdue: (Hollers) “I’m sitting in my pickup truck, watching a movie called the ‘The Outsiders.’ I’ve seen it a million times. It stars Marshal Dillon and John Cameron Swayze. I identify with the characters. They wear denim jackets and are not a part of the ‘in-crowd,’ like somebody I could name.”
Nunn: “Oh, pooh! Your cousin was governor of Georgia and you live inside a gated community that is inside another gated community on Sea Island. You had to send your valet to Pembroke to find you a denim jacket. Some outsider.”
Figby: “Let me stop you for a second. “The Outsiders’ starred Matt Dillon and Patrick Swayze, not Marshal Dillon and John Cameron Swayze. Marshal Dillon was played on television by James Arness and John Cameron Swayze was a network anchorman at NBC many years ago. You might enjoy a little story about Mr. Swayze. ...”
Perdue: “Yeah, well what about you, lady? You grew up in Washington D.C. That’s about as inside as you can get.”
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