Christian fun

- One church member and I like to pick at each other and I hate to admit this, but she normally gets the better of me. I like to call her Satan and she had a field day when I wore a pink shirt to church. There was even one particular Sunday I was attempting to sing for the church and this lady decided she would hide in the back of the church, in the sound booth, and pick her head up during the service with a Halloween mask on. Needless to say it was a devilish looking mask. Try singing with a straight face after seeing something like that.
But I finally got my revenge on this particular member. The church held a movie night and showed one of the Sherwood Baptist films, Facing the Giants or Fireproof, I can’t remember which movie it was. As the movie progressed I got up to go to the restroom and my wife, Amy, went out with one of our sons. Little did I know that at about the same time this church member had also went out. I returned to the movie but decided to take a seat in the back of the sanctuary since Amy had not returned.

As I was sitting there this particular church member returned a few moments after I had taken my seat and attempted to sit down beside me. Unbeknownst to her and me, her husband had also moved during the time we had taken a break from the movie, and guess where he was seated before the break? Right where I was now sitting. The sanctuary was somewhat dark and it took a few moments for your eyes to adjust. As the lady attempted to sit down beside me, she started touching my shoulder and chest area in order to find out exactly where she needed to sit on the row of seats. As her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she looked up at my smiling and conniving face, which had the appearance of an “I got you” expression. She could not contain her laughter and embarrassment and had to exit the movie again to regain her composure. Upon returning she promptly found a seat beside her husband.

Of course once the movie was finished I proclaimed to the preacher and the congregation that, “I was violated by some dirty old lady during the showing of the movie.”

- It is no secret that I enjoy the game of golf. At one point I played drums for the church and had missed a service or two due to business. Brother Ronnie Rentz, my pastor, decided he would attempt to garner my attention about missing church. He found an old golf club and used the club to replace my drumsticks. I guess he thought I had skipped church and went to the golf course.

Now there have been times that I have poked fun at the pastor’s height, excuse me let’s be politically correct, he is vertically challenged. So the Sunday following the golf club incident, I decided I would get my revenge. As he approached the pulpit that morning he found awaiting him a step stool. I figured it would help the audience be able to see the guy preaching the message.

- Every year during our children’s Jam Fest at church, the kids bring canned food for the Appling County Food Bank. To encourage the kids to participate in the food drive there is usually some type of competition between the girls and the boys. The winning prize for the team that brings the most food normally involves some embarrassing moment for the adults who help out with the event. Amy, I and other adults have had to dress up like babies, had goo dumped over our heads, etc. Can you imagine seeing me dressed up like a baby? Trust me I’m one big baby at 6’ 4” and 270 pounds.

One year when the boys won the food drive challenge the men (I didn’t have anything to do with it honey, well maybe a little bit) mixed up some concoction to pour on the women’s heads to represent slime. I don’t remember what was in the mixture, but I do recall seeing brown areas in the grass around the church weeks later. That stuff killed the grass. I guess it was a good thing it didn’t have the same effect on the women’s hair.

These are but a few of the fun incidents that I have experienced as a Christian. Don’t fall into the trap that you can’t have fun as a Christian. I believe God has a sense of humor; especially when I get up and look in the mirror every morning.